Bro continues with his treatment big sis has come up from the midlands so we have to behave....CheemoCharlie update… PICKIES MICKIES AND DICKIES
Sorry about the delay with bros update but I have been keeping a low profile for a while….As most of you know me and fat bro were accompanied by our posh sister Babs to this months chemo session so it was going to be boring to say the least. She seems to not like my chemo updates in her words they are ”slately exaggerated” So it looked like it was going to be a very boring session with me and fat bro having to behave ourselves , bro had to have an endoscopy as well as his chemo treatment in this session, (a camera up the arse for those of you not used to medical terminology)
Anyway, off we sets and when we reach the private car park at Christies we notice it is full of caravans and trucks and dogs and things and Babs says “ Look the cor pork is awash with Pickies”….“Pikeys” I said. Usually we get on free but it cost us £5 for a wristband each and we just about managed to park in between a scrap iron truck and a tarmac lorry.. I did think the tarmac lorry was about to go because two men were mixing the grass seed with the hot tarmac as we drove into the gap. It was very busy with a football match going on the length of the entire car park with two Propane bottles at one end for goal and two soiled nappies at the other.
When we got to the reception Babs complained to the staff saying “Look here young man, my brother pays for private medicine and we don’t want riff raff such as Pickies on our cor pork… “Pikeys” I whispered. The staff orderly explained that one of them had come in for tests on a suspected brain tumour, the symptoms were classic, he had put an empty crisp packet in a bin and bought a bar of soap.
Not wishing to dwell, as we were late we thought we had better get fat bro in his hospital gown and then he could have his endoscopy straight after his chemo. We got him dressed into it but unfortunately put it on back to front, anyhow it was too late to faff about with it…we got him in his chair and got his drip on discretely pulling his gown over his particulars…He began on his first bag of chemo fluid….
Just then a large looking man came in and introduced himself as Gentleman Mick, more followed and he introduced them as little Mick, cousin Mick, granddad Mick, nephew Mick and son-in-law Mick
“All them Mickies is Pickies” said Babs.. “Pikeys” I whispered staring my eyes at her ….any how they wasn’t alone, along followed Micks mum Jane Petrolengro who got seated in the corner of thee room and pulled cards out her pocket “The Pickies got turret cords” said Babs ..“Pikeys” I said a bit louder this time… Well before long she’s charging £5 a go to have your cards read and I did see her throwing the grim reaper cards out of the window and the cancer patients are flocking to have theirs cards read and all leaving with big smiles on their faces. Bros getting dripped with his chemo fluid, but I had forgot that one of the side effects is that all your extremities go cold and stiff and this appeared to have happened to his todger and it was pointing straight to the ceiling through the gap in his gown.. Now, bro isn’t short in that department I remember mum thinking her baby had 3 arms when he was born… you could actually have pole danced around it, but 3 little Pikeys had got their mums rather large brass earrings and were playing hoopla on it….Gentleman Mick never wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth had taped a card to bro saying £2 a go ..3 hoops on to win a fiver and a prize for everyone… little goldfish in bags were being brought into the room as prizes…Bros bag by this time was done and the nurse came in to attach the second one…However in all the confusion she attached a goldfish bag by mistake. Mick was doing a roaring trade now and a big queue was formed for the Hoop La.
Bro by this time kept calling for someone called bob?? Or wanting a bob?? I just kept seeing his mouth move.. “bob.. bob ..bob. .bob.”
His todger had become rather scaly looking and people were complaining the earrings wouldn’t fit over. Mick taped a tenner to the base to try to compensate for this…at least it covered bros balls. Babs then said “what’s Mickie the Pickie doing with my brothers tisticles” I was at my wits end with her and screamed “YOU” “FUCKING P..I..K..E..Y..S………. PIKEYS!!!!!!!!!” at which point I felt all these angry eyes looking at me….with a sudden leap up I grabbed bros scaly todger and ran out as fast as I could dragging him behind me to the car…we waited there for Babs…who came along 5 minutes later telling us that she thought the Pickies were looking for us…All the way home Bro still wanted a “bob” and kept banging his head on the window of the car…..oh….Sis isn’t coming again!! She doesn’t care for Nemotherapy!!!!
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