bros just had no 8 of his 12 chemotherapy sessions but it sounds like he will only be having one more, his consultant says he is going to start feeling very ill due to the effects of it. then its a break for  3 months. so i dont really know what will happen then. wether or not the tumours will start growing and cauusing bigger problems. worrying times for us all at the moment. but we need to battle on and keep our and bros spirits up.

Chemo Charlie update.

Well it was interesting at Christies yesterday. I don’t know if anyone knows but during bros last chemotherapy session he shared the adjoining room with Brian Kidd the ex Manchester United player, who is now assistant coach of Manchester City. Brian Kidd was in for treatment of cancer of the earholes.  Apparently ( I have been told by the nurses) him and Fat Bro talked through the entire session about football, not that bro knows a lot about the game, and it would appear that when the nurses were talking to bro about the side effects of mouth ulcers he was having and bro said i managed to brush em and am glad my munching back, because of the earhole tumours Brian had mistaken this as, I have managed Borrusia Monchangladbach. Not only that, he has heard of a job going in Manchester which fat bro might be ideal for.. Someone called the GLAZERS came to see him today. They managed to arrange a WINDOW in between his chemotherapy drips, It was a bit of a PANE with all the tubes around. They said there were 3 in the FRAME for the job, however they shortlisted to 2 because THEY COULD SEE RIGHT THROUGH ONE OF THEM. They wanted to keep the media at BAY so they could privately appoint someone for the OPENING. Anyway I tried to tell them that fat bro knew nothing about football but the fact that bro told them he had 4 children named Alex, Bobby, George and Matt fooled them a bit. They went on to ask Bro if he were successful in the application what would be his goals at Old Trafford, Bro replied that he thought he might make use of the ones they had at the moment and maybe buy 2 new nets for them…Thick fooker!! They asked if he felt comfortable spending 200 million pound on the market. Bro said he would buy 50,000 chicken legs, 40,000 meat pies, 16,000 donuts and of course 35,000 diet cokes, I stopped him and said on the transfer market, not Bury Market   numpty!!! Well Bro said he would buy Lionel Eton Messi, Bring back, Brian Éclair, Patrick Burger, and Paul Wanchop, providing Terry Butcher would sell him. Of course  keeping Robin Flan Persie. Robbie Cabbage and Dwight Yorkie might make the reserve team. Any monies left and he might slip Mike Battenberg a bit for his help!!

What about Giggs at Old Trafford they asked..  Oh said Bro I would have a One Direction concert in June and an Adele concert in July…THICK Fooker!!

Anyway they have seemed to pull down the banner at Old Trafford saying The CHOSEN ONE,  and they  asked bro what he would like in its place…Bro thought and said because I have an addiction to Ham Shanks from Iceland I would like it replaced by the FROZEN ONE he replied, going on to add that he would like to emulate that famous manager Bill Ham Shankly

Anyway to cut a long story short, the fat fooker, has only landed the job, obviously in his condition it is only a short term contract, (a month or two longer than Moyes) 3 hours a week, which is around about what the lazy git has been putting at Warburtons

He misses the next 4 matches because of a rib injury he picked up when the fat fooker got stuck in the turnstiles at the ground…so hes put Giggsy in charge….but Bro selected the team for weekend…..In Goal …         Bruce Gobbleall

A back four of..A Buttyner.  Norman Bunter John Terry(chocolate orange) Paul Scones

Midfield of …Nani (bread   Brian HobsOn..   Paul Mince and Sergio Biscuits

And two up front of course…Robin Flan Persie and Gianfranco Cola.(diet of course)

The Theatre Of Creams……………FAT FOOKER!!!!

Well its been a bit of a tough day for Bro today. You might think that he has not been seen much on facebook today and it might be because his beloved Man City Lost. But actually what most people didn’t know is that he was actually running in the London marathon in aid of the Christies.
He was going to have a sponsored Come Die With Me cooking competition but I said  the Marathon would be better in the long run…
He was accompanied on the run by two friends from the Christie Clinic weight watchers programme. Laura Norder a twenty stone policewoman from Sale and Frank Furter  who has a hotdog stand on Tommy field Market.
Anyhow bros been training for weeks for this at home. He bought a WII Fit and I went round the other night, you should have seen him huffing and puffing and sweating and all red faced…eventually though he did manage to get off his fat lard arse and  switch it on….he has put a great deal of hours on the bedmill as well I am told !!
No serious,  he was working his socks off the other night……it took him 30 minutes to get them off the fat ankled fat fooker! That also means trainers are out for him running the marathon,  he suggested buying some Chickenstock sandals and running in them.
Anyway as always I like to support bro in all he does so I bought him some Abigass shorts for him to run in today bit tight because I only got XXXL but they will do for a day..
Seriously though for someone who has to take a nap after a fart it is a huge effort by the fat fooker and I am proud of him.. and he has £998 if he completes the 26.2 miles. Unfortunately he only managed 23...Fookin Metres!!!
Yes …..after a long drive down bros there stood on the starting line when, as usually with a wobble of the belly and a shake of the chins he  lets off a huge fart….I heard someone say  “that stinks” and he was an Ethiopian about 6 miles up the road…Dirty smelly  git of a fat bro!!! To make matters worse he has blew an hole in his new Abigass  shorts.. that’s knackered up the running plan…he was going to run in short bursts…now he is running in burst shorts. Anyway the time comes for him and he is there with his two friends Laura  Norder and Frank Furter and the claxton sounds to set them off. Within two yards he is passed by a huge banana in a wheelchair and a Michael Jackson lookalike..( not sure which race he is in)…
Well then he spots it!!! Who in their right mind puts a burger stand 20 metres from the start of the London Marathon …bro claims it is getting too tough and he heads over for some sustenance….in the form of two double cheese burgers with relish a large fries an apple pie a bag of crisps and as always a diet coke!!! Well after stocking his fat belly up he attempts to set off again and catch Laura and Frank up…he manages a further 3 metres before falling over in a sweaty belly filled heap on the floor… St Johns ambulance come over and wrap him in tinfoil which is not big enough to cover the fat git so his fat pink legs are popping out…he looks like a Christmas Turkey ready for the oven!!!
 A four hour Drive !!!!  ….£20  Abigass Shorts!!!!!….  £89 A Wii Fit and balance…£46 Chickenstock Sandals for  23!!!!!!!sodding!!!!!metres!!!!! Now correct me you  mathematicians out there but I recon that sponser promises of £998 if he runs 26.2 mile…which equates to 42195 Metres and he has run 23 metres???  And Dividing monies into metres means a total of 0.422795912 recurring pence per metre run…x 23(metres run) = A GRAND TOTAL OF 9.7 PENCE…LESS THAN 10 PENCE!!!!!
WELL DONE BRO…YOU BIG FAT GREEDY T***

ANOTHER BATCH OF CHEMOTHERAPY FOR BRO TODAY AT CHRISTIES.

Bro got the results of the scan and some tumours have shrunk by .1 of   a centimetreand one has grown by a full centimetre which is alarming. he is booked in for 6 more sessions of treatment but his consultant feels that he may only have 2 or 3 of these before he becomes so ill that he will have to stop.. at this stage the tumours will grow because he will not be having treatment for about 3 months.....worrying times but me and bro are looking forward to our holiday...UPWARDS AND ONWARDS......Thanks everyone for reading the blog....i wish some of you if you felt the need might add a comment...maybe you or a loved one are experiencing similar treatment etc....or you might just want to chat to  someone about cancer or even football or anything...lol

MY LITTLE BROTHER HAS CANCER: Bro had a scan last Thursdy and the consultant sai...

MY LITTLE BROTHER HAS CANCER: Bro had a scan last Thursdy and the consultant sai...: Bro had a scan last Thursdy and the consultant said he was pleased with what he saw. However he has to now have another 6 sessions of chemot...

Bro had a scan last Thursdy and the consultant said he was pleased with what he saw. However he has to now have another 6 sessions of chemotherapy over the next 12 weeks. He will know more about the scan results when he meets with his consutant during his first new sessions of chemotherapy treatment this Thursday. heres hoping for some good news...its about time we had some.....Bro has just got back to work and is currently been getting stuck into a new works project...now this chemotherapy will knock that on the head to some degree...all the family have been noticing that bro has been starting to lose weight which is slightly worrying, but he could do with a pound or two off so might be a good thing....keep you posted friends........thanks for viewing the blog..

Me and bro have been chatting tonight and feel that it is about time we started looking at the hymns we might choose for his service. We don’t want anything too sad and bro feels he does not want anything too religious. He said he would like something that all the mourners who attend will listen and think…hey…that sums Bro up….we been racking our brains out to find some and we think we might have come up with the first one…..
In 1847 a Scotsman called  Henry Francis Lyte…(Fancy bro picking a hymn written by someone called Lyte…lol)  wrote a poem whilst dying of tubercolosis, 3 weeks after he wrote it he died, the poem was adapted to be sung to the composer Wlliam Henry Monks tune of “Eventide” It is famously sung at Football and Rugby Finals at Wembley Stadium


ABIDE WITH ME……….(tweaked)

A PIE FOR ME,  TO THE CHIPPY DO I FLY
ITS NEARLY CLOSING. LORD I NEED A PIE
WHEN OTHER THINGS CANNOT FILL ME FOR MY TEA
ONLY A MEAT AND POTATO. LORD, A PIE FOR ME.

SWIFT TO THE COUNTER. I WOBBLE AS I RUN,
EARTHS JOY GROWS DIM. THE NIGHT TAKES OUT THE SUN.
CHANGE FROM MY FIVER. LORD I MUST DECREE,
O THOU WHO CHANGEST NOT. A PIE FOR ME.

NOW A BRIEF GLANCE AND I SPOT A STEAK AND KID,
I SEE MY CHANGE AND I SEE I HAVE TWO QUID
I PUT THE REST IN THE BOX MARKED MARIE CURIE
I CANNOT WAIT TO EAT. ….A PIE FOR ME.

IM  BACK HOME NOW AND MY TUMS  A RUMBLING,
AND I GRABB A PIE AND THE CRUST IS CRUMBLING.
TEARS FILL MY EYES.  SOMETHING I COULD NOT FORSEE
SOME FELL ON  THE FLOOR. MY GOD. OF MY PIE FOR ME.

I NOW THINK LORD . THAT I SHOULD HAVE GOT A CHEESE?
BUT WHAT I DID GET WAS A CARTON OF MUSHY PEAS.
I LOOK FOR HP SAUCE. DEAR GOD WHERE CAN IT BE?
HAD IT FOR MY PIE AT DINN. NOW I NEED IT FOR A PIE FOR ME.

MEAT AND POTATO, CHEESE AND MEAT AND STEAK
HOLLAND OR PUKKAS. MAKE MY BELLY ACHE
I LIKE THE ONES, THAT ARE BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
THERES NOTHING I LIKE BETTER LORD. THAN A PIE FOR ME.

HOLD NOW THY FORK. BEFORE MY CLOSING EYES,
SHINE THROUGH THE GLOOM, AND POINT IT TO THE PIES.
WILL I IN HEAVEN . LORD COULD YOU GUARANTEE
IN LIFE. IN DEATH. COULD I TAKE A PIE FOR ME..

CHEMO Charlie Update
Well I have had a busy week because my sister Barbara ( you know the posh one from the Midlands) asked me to speak to Bros consultant Mr Mustaph Lukatfatti to see about the possibility of us taking Bro on holiday some where. She asked me to choose somewhere to go that would suit bro, mmmmmm??? somewhere that would be ok for his condition. mmmmm???? She gave me a list of questions…such as insurance…. vaccinations… .flying…care on holiday…medicines etc so I went to see Mr Mustapha Lukatfatti last week at Christies. Anyhow talking to the consultant it did not seem to be a problem bro going on holiday, but he did suggest a late break might not be a good idea if we wanted bro to go with us.
The next point I raised was the insurance question and whether the costs would be extortionate given bros condition. Well it seems that there is some insurance that cancer sufferers can use and he gave me a booklet. The company was I.F.F.F.F.I.E Insurance.( which I assume stood for Insurance For Fat Fookers Flying In Europe) I will let Barbara have a look at the iffffie insurance. The next point I raised was the flight and what problems bro might have if it was quite a long one, Mr Mustapha Lukatfatti said that there may be some problems with the G.F.S.I.S,  “G.F.S.I.S as in ….General Flight Standard Instructional System” I said ( appearing clever and not forgetting the topic of airports I chose when I was at school aged 11)…”No “ he said  G.F.S.I.S as in  …….Getting Fatties Stuck In Seats!!
Vaccinations however were not a problem, the consultant said that in bros condition contracting Malaria…Yellow Fever and Polio were the least of his worries. What if he needed to take something that he relied on and didn’t have any I asked. “ Pastel De Carne” he replied. “Is that Spanish for chemo pills” I asked. To which he replied “No its Spanish for Pie!!!”
SCOFF…is a scheme run by Christies … Specialised  Care Of Fat Fookers and the scheme allows a person to be accompanied on holiday and have 24/7 care by a McMillan Nurse.  Mr Mustapha Lukatfatti  introduced us to one of these carers a lady named  Mary Mee, although lady,  not being the appropriate word as she had a slight goatie a faint moustache and hairy legs, I looked at the consultant and raised my eye brows and he advised me that Mary had been the recipient of a sex change and was previously a porter in the hospital going by the  name of  Adam Sapple. I thought there was Something About  Mary so I now call her our Mat Dillon Nurse.
Well…Where can we go that would please bro???   A few Places spring to mind  Turkey….Chile.. Hungary ..   Could visit the Leaning Tower Of Pizza..lol….and if we stayed in England…..Maybe …Plumpton….Puddington in Devon…Mardy in Wales…. Broadbottom  in Tameside…Eaton in Norfolk (and we could take in Pooley Street which is there but not Feltwell which is also there)  Scofton in  Nottinghamshire.. Pratts Bottom in London… South West maybe for Looe or Flushing in Cornwall ( there is by the way a Lavi in Israel so I will put that down as a maybe) Brobury in Herefordshire.. Sodbury in the Cotswolds…there is even a Bell end in Worcestershire…decisions decisions…….. TURKEY it is!! Anyhow I text Barbara and told her  and she is a bit suspect about the ifffie insurance but everything else was great. However I text her telling her Turkey and not only does she talk posh but she reads texts posh too and she read Turkey As fookin TORQUAY!! And shes booked us in there….Probably  in FAWLTY FOOKIN TOWERS!!!!Grrrhhhh. I have got to go and tell Mary Mee  the Matt Dillon nurse who is coming with us that she wasted her time shaving her legs and her beard and all the sun cream she bought she wont need………..Jolly Hollys!!!!!