Got Bro his new chair and now he is able to get up on his own with his riser recliner so he is well chuffed.

Chemo Charlie Update.

Well,  was at Christies on Thursday with Bro who was having the next session of his treatment. Because the standard Chemo treatment has not been all that successful an alternative has had to be tried and it was felt that it might be a better approach to go back to mother earth and try the old age method of herbalism (the use of plants for medicinal purposes). It was felt that maybe if some onions were liquidised and these were used as a chemotherapy fluid it might cure Bro more naturally. The consultant Mr Mustapha Lukatfatti said the treatment was widely used in the treatment of cancer and he thought that there was nothing better for your liver than Onions.                    Bro had to first be examined and  two nurses, Neil Downe and Ben Dover came in and asked him to take his cloves off. Everything was ok in that department so the onions were liquidised by a nice nurse called Annie Seed. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Rebecca had to go out for a thyme because she couldn’t stand the smell with tears streaming down her face. Bro was then bagged up and fitted to the machine. Bros crying now as well  “it is the onions “ said the nurse, but it wasn’t, he had just trapped his not so chubby fingers in his reclining chair..thick not so fat fooker!!  Mr Mustapha said there might be  some slight side effects such as developing a slightly silver skin, Bro might also get pins and needles sensations in his fingers but the doctor said that a bit of acupuncture might sort that out?? . He left then but said he would be cumin back soon. By the way, Bro had  some good news driving to Christies today, the Macmillan nurses had sorted out his illness payments and he now could buy some clothes and pay his rent, which should stop the bay leafs from paying him a visit. Think he still gets his Celery as well so he is quids in. Thanks shallot!!   Anyway its an hour into his treatment and  Bro is smelling like  a wonderful aroma of liver and onions,  (which is better that the smell of shit that he usually smells like since he had his bag put on) so i guess the onions might be working. Rebeccas trying to get Jeremy Kyle on the telly but it isn’t working so we have to settle for a little music...Herb Alpert..mmmmm??? Dont think so, thats better Bee Gees, Chive Talking...a classic. Bros had no appetite now for 3 months and me and Rebeccas starving now THAT the room smells like Witherspoons Kitchen , so while Bro goes to take a leek we scoffs his dinner between us ( told big sis that Bro ate it though) However Christine my lovely wife had took  Bro a meal round  for when he got home that night, soft slowly cooked pasta, the finest petite pois ,  finely diced soya flakes, a beautiful chicken stock marinade, finely seasoned with fresh basil and mixed herbs, all he has to do is fill with water to the line and add the soya sauce. Bros fell asleep now me and Rebeccas bored shitless, the music is still on and the nurse Arty Choke says he will lettuce turnip the beet a little. Bro is still in a vegetated state. While we are on the subject i hear Tesco are crapping themselves again because traces of wheelchair have been found in their vegetable soup. I hope Bro comes out of his vegetated state,  he has to come back tomarrow to have some more treatment.  Sis has told me his ankles are now swelling up and i fear he might be slowly rooting himself to his sofa..Lazy Not so fat fooker!!!

Chemo Charlie update

Well the now  not so fat fooker has been at it again, causing us no end of worry and grief. He has not been able to lift his backside off the sofa for 3 weeks now, telling us he has the most distressing pains in his bottom. He has become totally drug dependant and his coffee table looks like Bury Pharmacy on Methadone day. He has been taking, Morphine Pethadine ,  Serotine , Flupertine antitriptyline to name just a few,  in an effort to keep the pain at bay (soft git). I  am sure if he takes half an aspirin the pain will go. Anyhow this drug dependency has got him slightly hooked and he has had a dealer coming round each week to supply him with all manner of stuff. It is costing him a small fortune buying cannabis, but as always it is the family who it all lands on and in an effort to keep costs to a minimum sister Sue has got hubby Ste to set up a cannabis growing area on their  th’lottment.  It is quite good,  in a darkened greenhouse on Bamford road underneath the glare of the  3000kw left corner flag floodlight of Heywood Sports Centre all weather pitch, the plants are thriving.  Bamford Road now  however  smells like an Amsterdam Coffee shop and when a North Easterly wind blows Morrisons and Dunnes are frequented by all manner of strange characters. It is all a bit worrying for us. We have gone through 67 cans of fabreeze in bros flat spraying constantly before the visits of Doctors and Mcmillan nurses, it is costing us a small fortune and the not so fat fooker is still saying his arse is hurting. I have nothing against drugs myself, i did have a friend who got in trouble for taking an E once , but i think that the security staff on Countdown were being a bit over reactive. Mum has  tried to help in her sort of way by buying him a pencil from the pound shop in Heywood and down it is printed TOO COOL TO DO DRUGS,  however he had sharpened it though when i went round and it now said COOL TO DO DRUGS..!!  Anyhow on Thursday Sister Babs took him to Christies for a meeting with his consultant Mr Mustapha Lukatfatti, Bro said they could go there on his pink dragon but Babs said they could go in her car. Well they finally arrived at  Christies  and  while bro was chatting to Barney And Fireman Sam in the waiting room whilst a bald headed kid played dot to dot on his drug induced spotty head, sister Babs was going to speak to Mustapha Lukatfatti about her  worry about Bros inability to get mobile and her worries about deep veined thrombosis. She told Mustapha that she thinks Bro should be wearing compression stockings but she did not know where to get them. Mr Mustapha Lukatfatti suggested Boots. We had already tried them though without success though, and Bro did look a Twa* wearing wellingtons  lied on the sofa.  Babs also mentioned bros drug problem and the fact he wasn’t eating, and he had no money for the rent, his kids no longer come to see him, he had lost his job. Mr Lukatfatti suggested a drugs programme.” Methadone” said Babs ,” No!! Jeremy Kyle” said  Mr Lukatfatti.  “Perhaps there is a need to see a pain management consultant” said  Mr Lukatfatti .  To which sister replied  “ Can i come another day to see one when bros not here” ......... “ I  mean for the fat fooker to see” said Mustapha. So off they went to see one,   a Mr Ed Skillin in the out patients department. The first thing was to identify the type of pain and he asked Bro what it was like. Bro described it as Acheypainy  (what the fook is acheypainy ???) A kind of numb stabbing pain he went on to say..????  Ed Skillin brought out a pain chart numbered 1 t0 10 with the type of pain described for each number and asked Bro what he would say his was,  on the chart 1 being the pain felt by a little pinch of the skin up to 10 being the pain felt by being  hit by a double decker bus. “ 3 and ½” said bro. So here we was with Bro in a drug induced semi comatose state brought on by taking a cocktail of various drugs to help combat a pain that measured 3 and ½ on the pain Richter scale which was somewhere slap bang in the middle of a paper cut to the index finger and standing on a lego brick when you get out of bed!! THE BIG SOFT NOT SO  FAT FOOKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well its been almost a year since we started this blog and this is now our 100th post. Bro is still battling hard and we still will be battling when we reach 200 posts. We have had a lot of laughs along the way and although it is difficult to laugh sometimes we have kept trying all the time to not let things get us down. I have not written a chemo update for a while because bro was getting over his operation and he might have burst his stitches if he were to laugh too much.I will wait while he has fully recovered and continue the updates. Any how here is an update of his treatment.......
Bro went to Christies again yesterday for another batch of chemotherapy treatment. he has lost over 4 stone now and his consultant has told him that he has to get some weight back on and start eating again. he may have to have some injections in his spine to numb some nerves in his bottom because the tumour is now pressing on them and giving him a lot of pain. His morphine has been upped and he is to see a pain management consultant and hopefully this may help a little. he seems to have his battle head on again and does not appear to be as down in the dumps(not surprisingl;y) as he was a week or two ago. I am a little worried about mum and dad at the moment because i can see they are extremely worried and with them being in their 80's i think we will have to keep a close eye on them.The battle continues and to be honest all the family have been a bit down over the last couple of weeks and we have all said things in anger and flustration to one another, such is this bloody disease and the effects it has on everyone. Battle scarred we all maybe but family and friends are still here and still fighting. Look out cancer we are still gonna get you!!!!

Bros been not too well for the last few weeks and so it was nice on his daughter rebeccas birthday that all the kids got together at his flat for a little birthday bash.....here he is with from left to right....joe,william,bro,rebecca and charles...lovely pic....now get that birthday cake eaten bro...your getting too thin!!!