MY LITTLE BROTHER HAS CANCER

Did you see Roy pushing Hayley through the streets in her wheelchair saying goodbye to all her friends, fek that, I am not doing that with bro, and anyway, both his friends live too far apart from each other...   Course when he saw Hayley,s wheelchair it was the next on the fat fookers want list, anyway he will no doubt be telling you about the nurses hot breath on his neck, the light pants that were getting heavier and heavier, and her  occasional mutter of "fuck me"................. as she pushed the fat fooker  in a wheelchair up the corridor of Christies...anyway i wont be making any jokes about him when he gets it, I admire him for taking it all in his stride....Oh fuck!!..
Anyhow it arrived this morning we ordered it on line from Spasda.  It needed to be assembled  but there were step by step instructions…Oh fuck!! There I go again…
The fat fooker keeps saying “ I want that one”  Well if he wants pushing around  when his hair starts falling out and the fat fooker starts to look like Andy Pipkin, he can get someone else to play the part of Lou Todd……

 an ode to bro

The wheelchair arrived today for  my bro
Step by step instructions to build  as you know
Gleaming red and extremely wide
We now call the  fat twat… Ironside
But joking apart.. Its state of the art
With a built in extractor for a chemo fart
And  a 24 volt battery and a transformer pack
It should get the fat twat  to the chippy and back
It goes 0 to 60 in  thirty five mins
Pissed myself at the g force on the three of his chins
The tyre are graphite and made by Pirelli,
Lowered by a foot to miss the fat fookers belly
An anti tip system and personalised plates
But will fly backwards quite fast,  if he masterbates
An adjustable backrest,  a speedy front castor
If he wasn’t a fat fooker it might go a bit faster
So im getting it ready for when he is no longer walking
I have  e mailed for tips from a Mr Stephen Hawking
Then I will put on some L plate cos he is just a beginner
In the words of Fatman…..DINNER DINNER DINNER!!!