He was going to have a sponsored Come Die With Me cooking competition but I said the Marathon would be better in the long run…
He was accompanied on the run by two friends from the Christie Clinic weight watchers programme. Laura Norder a twenty stone policewoman from Sale and Frank Furter who has a hotdog stand on Tommy field Market.
Anyhow bros been training for weeks for this at home. He bought a WII Fit and I went round the other night, you should have seen him huffing and puffing and sweating and all red faced…eventually though he did manage to get off his fat lard arse and switch it on….he has put a great deal of hours on the bedmill as well I am told !!
No serious, he was working his socks off the other night……it took him 30 minutes to get them off the fat ankled fat fooker! That also means trainers are out for him running the marathon, he suggested buying some Chickenstock sandals and running in them.
Anyway as always I like to support bro in all he does so I bought him some Abigass shorts for him to run in today bit tight because I only got XXXL but they will do for a day..
Seriously though for someone who has to take a nap after a fart it is a huge effort by the fat fooker and I am proud of him.. and he has £998 if he completes the 26.2 miles. Unfortunately he only managed 23...Fookin Metres!!!
Yes …..after a long drive down bros there stood on the starting line when, as usually with a wobble of the belly and a shake of the chins he lets off a huge fart….I heard someone say “that stinks” and he was an Ethiopian about 6 miles up the road…Dirty smelly git of a fat bro!!! To make matters worse he has blew an hole in his new Abigass shorts.. that’s knackered up the running plan…he was going to run in short bursts…now he is running in burst shorts. Anyway the time comes for him and he is there with his two friends Laura Norder and Frank Furter and the claxton sounds to set them off. Within two yards he is passed by a huge banana in a wheelchair and a Michael Jackson lookalike..( not sure which race he is in)…
Well then he spots it!!! Who in their right mind puts a burger stand 20 metres from the start of the London Marathon …bro claims it is getting too tough and he heads over for some sustenance….in the form of two double cheese burgers with relish a large fries an apple pie a bag of crisps and as always a diet coke!!! Well after stocking his fat belly up he attempts to set off again and catch Laura and Frank up…he manages a further 3 metres before falling over in a sweaty belly filled heap on the floor… St Johns ambulance come over and wrap him in tinfoil which is not big enough to cover the fat git so his fat pink legs are popping out…he looks like a Christmas Turkey ready for the oven!!!
A four hour Drive !!!! ….£20 Abigass Shorts!!!!!…. £89 A Wii Fit and balance…£46 Chickenstock Sandals for 23!!!!!!!sodding!!!!!metres!!!!! Now correct me you mathematicians out there but I recon that sponser promises of £998 if he runs 26.2 mile…which equates to 42195 Metres and he has run 23 metres??? And Dividing monies into metres means a total of 0.422795912 recurring pence per metre run…x 23(metres run) = A GRAND TOTAL OF 9.7 PENCE…LESS THAN 10 PENCE!!!!!
WELL DONE BRO…YOU BIG FAT GREEDY T***
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