Chemo Charlie Update.
Well, was at
Christies on Thursday with Bro who was having the next session of his
treatment. Because the standard Chemo treatment has not been all that successful
an alternative has had to be tried and it was felt that it might be a better
approach to go back to mother earth and try the old age method of herbalism
(the use of plants for medicinal purposes). It was felt that maybe if some
onions were liquidised and these were used as a chemotherapy fluid it might
cure Bro more naturally. The consultant Mr Mustapha Lukatfatti said the
treatment was widely used in the treatment of cancer and he thought that there
was nothing better for your liver than Onions. Bro had to first be examined
and two nurses, Neil Downe and Ben Dover
came in and asked him to take his cloves off. Everything was ok in that
department so the onions were liquidised by a nice nurse called Annie Seed. There
wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Rebecca had to go out for a thyme because she couldn’t
stand the smell with tears streaming down her face. Bro was then bagged up and
fitted to the machine. Bros crying now as well “it is the onions “ said the nurse, but it wasn’t,
he had just trapped his not so chubby fingers in his reclining chair..thick not
so fat fooker!! Mr Mustapha said there
might be some slight side effects such
as developing a slightly silver skin, Bro might also get pins and needles
sensations in his fingers but the doctor said that a bit of acupuncture might
sort that out?? . He left then but said he would be cumin back soon. By the
way, Bro had some good news driving to
Christies today, the Macmillan nurses had sorted out his illness payments and
he now could buy some clothes and pay his rent, which should stop the bay leafs
from paying him a visit. Think he still gets his Celery as well so he is quids
in. Thanks shallot!! Anyway its an hour
into his treatment and Bro is smelling
like a wonderful aroma of liver and
onions, (which is better that the smell
of shit that he usually smells like since he had his bag put on) so i guess the
onions might be working. Rebeccas trying to get Jeremy Kyle on the telly but it
isn’t working so we have to settle for a little music...Herb Alpert..mmmmm???
Dont think so, thats better Bee Gees, Chive Talking...a classic. Bros had no
appetite now for 3 months and me and Rebeccas starving now THAT the room smells
like Witherspoons Kitchen , so while Bro goes to take a leek we scoffs his dinner
between us ( told big sis that Bro ate it though) However Christine my lovely
wife had took Bro a meal round for when he got home that night, soft slowly
cooked pasta, the finest petite pois , finely diced soya flakes, a beautiful chicken
stock marinade, finely seasoned with fresh basil and mixed herbs, all he has to
do is fill with water to the line and add the soya sauce. Bros fell asleep now
me and Rebeccas bored shitless, the music is still on and the nurse Arty Choke says
he will lettuce turnip the beet a little. Bro is still in a vegetated state.
While we are on the subject i hear Tesco are crapping themselves again because
traces of wheelchair have been found in their vegetable soup. I hope Bro comes
out of his vegetated state, he has to
come back tomarrow to have some more treatment.
Sis has told me his ankles are now swelling up and i fear he might be
slowly rooting himself to his sofa..Lazy Not so fat fooker!!!
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