Bros first batch of chemotherapy began in April this year at Christies in Manchester. i said i would accompany him on all his treatments to lend some support too him. i would also report back to family and friends how things were going.....i decided to call my reports CHEMO CHARLIE UPDATES and would post on bros facebook page for concerned family and friends...................
.CHEMO CHARLIE UPDATE
Just got back from Christies with bro...what a fookin day!! Gets him started on this 2 hr drip...after fannying about with the mard arsed fat git trying to get a vein to plug it into . Anyhow gets the cards out for some easy pickings off the bro......It isn’t long before they put this druggie in the next cubicle to us for his treatment....he bobs over to our space and introduces himself nicknames the Shooter he says....that says a lot I said to bro........... Poker we are playing and bro thinks he is Steve Mcqueen playing the Cincinatti Kid...a nurse Howard comes in , who bears a striking resemblance to Edward G Robinson (goatie and all) and tells us she plays poker big time on the internet.....knob head bro asks her to join in....Shooter says he will deal because he doesn’t know how to play and is high anyway......there I am with The Cincinatti Kid...the Man...Edward G and the fookin Shooter dealing....it isn’t long before bro (the kid) and the nurse (the man) have nearly skint me out of all my m and m's and I have only 6 Smarties left and the colour is going out off them faster than the colour out of bros face with the cheemo...I decide to quit and eat the fookers. this leaves the Cincinatti Kid, bro...and Edward G the man to battle it out....big stakes now....goaties got the Black Jacks out and the kid has broken into a packet of Polo.......Shooter deals........the kid bets two Polos...the man calls...anyhow to cut a long story short.. Everything is in.. Smarties . . Polos...Revels...m and ms...and Black Jacks. The man turns over a queen high straight flush and the kid loses with a full house........ Well bro goes bonkers and tips the table up spilling the lot...his drip flies out and cheemo fluid is flying everywhere it sprays in my face which was quite handy because I had two zits and the both just fell of right away...Shooter is cowering in the corner catching it on a spoon...the nurse is covered in it and her goatie starts to fall off along with one of her eye brows...another nurse came in and reattached the drip....so I am looking around, the nurse is trying to make another eyebrow out of her goatie .. Shooters got a lighter under his spoon...and suddenly I see a little fly that has crawled into bros tube and before I can raise the alarm it is in him...well suddenly his eyes start to bulge out a great deal and two things start to grow from his nose with two black balls on them...strange wing like things start to come out of his side.....it doesn’t help that he is dressed in a black and yellow striped jumper and two tone pants from the seventies....a porter comes in with a man size glass and large playing card to catch him as he flutters about...he takes a look at the fat fooker and goes back for a man sized goldfish bowl instead...any how they get him....there is a right to do and the nurses take him into de-fly-brillation room for treatment...In there plasters are put over his nose and mouth and a Dyson is attached to his rectum and switched on...that sorts the eyes out and they shrink back.....his wings are carefully removed and a porter acquires them for his daughter who is playing Tinkerbell in the school pantomime ...he then falls over and is spinning around on the floor with his legs up in the air...reminiscent off the bowling do with the Lorimers in Scarborough.....anyway they get him up...they now start to remove the antennae which he wants to keep because he is receiving Sky Sports through the right nostril and a Swedish porn site through the left nostril...anyway off they come and everything is back to normal.. Phew......I am not going with him again I was bored out of my tree.... off to take him to mums now for a few days rest...he is going to the pics. ...pick nose...pick horses and pick what he is having for tea...soft fooker!!! Gets to mums and she has done him fresh salmon sandwiches with a side salad and done me a scroty meat pie from Morrisons... grhhhhh....anyway his treatment went ok.x
My little brother was diagnosed with bowel and secondary liver cancer in March 2013. This blog tells the story of our fight to beat it with humour and family and friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment